The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 58

He was one of those dogs where you can’t tell if it’s fat or fur. Probably both.

All the commands he knew went the same way: hunch, nod, raise the paw, grin. Pant if you can work up to it, but don’t overthink it. The routine satisfied most solicitations and was endearing enough to stand in for the rest.

He couldn’t understand the fuss – he was an old dog, and he learned new tricks all the time.