The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 57

She read from the article: “The Linguistic Binary Self-selection Theory asserts that character, taste, and mental aptitude strongly correlate with the amount of enjoyment a person derives from pronouncing one of two words.”

“Which words?” he asked.

“The first word is ‘Bob.'”

“Bob,” he said.

They looked at each other.

“Bob,” he said again and chuckled.

“The second-”


“The second is-”

“Bob. Bob. Bob.” His mouth moved like a fish’s. He rocked back on his heels chortling and started pacing around the room.

“Bob. Bob.”

She watched him for a moment then turned her eyes back to the page. She slid her finger along the second word and carefully pronounced, “Ses qui pe dal i an.”

She smiled.

“Sesquipedalian,” she said.

“Bob,” he said. And laughed.