The tour bus was cramped, the rockstar was peevish, and the guitarist was having trouble with his boots.
“‘Literally.’ I loathe that word,” the rockstar said. “Remove it from any sentence with no loss of meaning.”
“Care to wager?” said the guitarist. “And would you help me with these boots?”
Literally leveraging against a stove, the rockstar committed.
The guitarist said, “You’re literally pulling my leg.” He snickered. “Your pants are literally on fire.”
Now things literally got heated.
Panicking, the rockstar literally fanned the flames while the guitarist tried to literally smother his opponent.
Stomping mad, the rockstar entangled himself literally hook, line and sinker, and literally slammed the door on the discussion.
Eventually they literally calmed the flames, but the guitarist literally wouldn’t let the rockstar off the hook.
Long story short: The bus got a new stove, and everyone admits the guitarist is literally cooking with gas.
Epilogue
For some time after, the guitarist kept a list of idioms to help him argue his proof. But arguments often get literally out of hand on the tour bus, and he has decided to leave the proof where it now lies, literally in the pudding.
